I can text with my tongue
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
