Porn is love you can see.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This is my gift to your gina
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
