Do you still have your period?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
