I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
