She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize