I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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