Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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