Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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