fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize