talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
