Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.