I just pynch a tree in the face
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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