dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
