i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
