Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
