In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
