This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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