Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
