I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
