cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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