so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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