ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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