I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
