If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
