I don't remember. Are we still dating?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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