You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
