I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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