im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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