Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize