A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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