Buhtt sex?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
