they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
so much tequila, so little girl.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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