Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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