End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
