I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
