The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
