Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
