Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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