these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
