So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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