I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.