You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.