That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT