Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?