Screwed.edu
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
and you fell through a lawn chair
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
