so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
