would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
