Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
