I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
