maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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