Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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