we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
