i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
