My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
