i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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