I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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