Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
