Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
