whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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