Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
