honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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