Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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