Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
