Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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