Can i not drive my cunt home
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need a beard to bite.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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