No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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