i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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