I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
