Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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