This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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