can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
