2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
soo... how was my night?
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