As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
PANTIES FOUND
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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