He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
